From what we order in a restaurant to the workout we do at the gym, we all at some point or another end up caring way too much about what other people think. Will they judge me or think I look stupid? And then of course we end up doing something other than what we want because of what we assume they’ll think about us.
Maybe this is you, maybe it isn’t. Maybe you are perfectly at peace with everything you do in life and every choice you make – credit to you. But some are not, and sometimes that person is me, so I wanted to share some of my own experiences, thoughts and tips.
Until this year you would never catch me squatting or deadlifting in the gym. Although I’d been taught, it just made me anxious I’m doing this wrong, I look silly and so, well, I just didn’t do it and wiped it from my training completely. I think about it now and I’m like WHAT THE HECK, what a waste! I didn’t perform these two super important compound exercises for over a year. Well I certainly wish I’d found my balls before now! The reality is, no one cares about what I’m doing and neither are they interested in whether I am doing it right or wrong – they’re doing their own flipping workouts. I was just over-thinking a really simple situation. Yes, some of this comes down to confidence of course, but I wasn’t going to get more comfortable in the rack by not trying at all, was I?
Now you can’t keep me away from the rack – over 100KG on squats.
It’s a similar story with my height, and I’ll be honest – I’m still working on this one. I’ve always been conscious of my height. Yes I’m tall, thank you for telling me. I mean I’ve not been told that a million times over already.
If you know me, you’ll know I very rarely wear heels (if ever), and because I don’t wear heels, I don’t wear dresses – because who wants to wear a dress with a pair of dolly shoes. Eugh. All the other girls look so glam, all dolled up with their outfits and heels. I’m done with wearing jeans and a top. I want to wear dresses and pretty shoes! So why the hell don’t I?
Well, there’s nothing stopping me – I know that – but when I do wear them I get a million more people telling me how I tall I look (even taller than before because I wasn’t even wearing heels then!).
I know what you’re all thinking but why would you hate it so much, I would love to be tall! I don’t dislike my height, I dislike the fact that people feel the need to comment on it ALL THE TIME, and a lot of the time in a derogatory manner. When people see an overweight person do they act shocked and approach them with whoa you’re overweight! No…
It just makes me feel hella uncomfortable and for me takes the fun and excitement out of getting ready for occasions because I spend most of my time feeling anxious about what bloody shoes to wear but I’ll get there… 🙂
So these are my examples, but how much of our lives and energy do we think have been affected by caring way too much what other people think…or what we will assume they think?
I’ve definitely wasted some time; but no more. The solution from where I am sitting is simple, but perhaps not easy. We literally just need to stop caring about what other people think, and actively live our lives. We owe these 7 things to ourselves…
1. Life is better when we are not concerned about how other people view us for our actions, choices, and decisions. There’s great freedom from doing what makes YOU happy; being authentically yourself.
2. Many people don’t actually care nearly as much as we think they do. Like I said earlier on I think sometimes we expect people to have a greater opinion over our choices than they actually do.
3. People will respect us more when we don’t base our life choices on what we assume others might think. Don’t be afraid to let people see the real you.
4. People who didn’t like us already, still won’t like us. But what the hell. I think this is actually a benefit – if someone didn’t like you when you were trying to be what they wanted or expected, they may still not like you once you stop caring what they think. Not everyone will like you. Let them be. As they say it is better to be disliked for who we truly are than loved for what we’re pretending to be!
5. Get what you want to accomplish clear in your mind. When we stop caring about the opinions of others, our personal desires and goals become much more apparent. We are free to do what we want without the burden of their thoughts.
6. You’ll carry less stress. Trying to be something you’re not is exhausting. Suffocating even. When we are ourselves, the stress almost melts away. It’s unnecessary stress than can be prevented.
7. Life will become easier and more enjoyable. As time passes, life’s experiences increase and we get better! This alongside living a care free life, and not allowing the influence of others to interfere, will allow us to grow.