For as long as I can remember, I’ve been ashamed of my height.
Thinking back to infant school, I recall being picked to play Angel Gabriel because of my height. I didn’t want to be angel Gabriel, I wanted to be a little cute lamb. And I think I equated being small with being loved more, even at that young age. I remember looking at Barbie Dolls and feeling a sadness because they were skinny, blonde and of course small.
When you are tall it seems to be the first thing people relate to you as. And therefore they treat you in a certain way. I remember this being very confusing for my younger self. People would automatically assume that I was capable and responsible. I tended to get the blame for things more.
The only answer to me was be small. To stay small. Then people would be nicer to me.
Oh, the irony of that. Being so tall and feeling so small. This was stuffed into my subconscious suitcase which I carried around we me daily. It had negative effects to my posture, the relationships I chose, the jobs I worked in, the way I dressed and the way I spoke.
But, when you make decisions based on fear they always turn out badly (as I have discovered!)
It is so important to be yourself.
…and that is when I discovered Yoga.
I have been practicing for 4 years now. My first teacher was and is wonderful. After a few sessions she messaged me and asked me if I had ever thought about becoming a Yoga Teacher and I immediately said yes. I loved learning about it all and I find the journey so incredibly fascinating.
It has not been easy. I have suffered from immense fatigue for a number of years but I am pleased to say that I am standing tall – probably 2 inches taller than I was before. A couple of months ago, I started teaching my own classes and I’m getting lovely feedback.
I am feeling happier because I am learning to accept myself for who I am and that is the greatest gift.